There have been some aspects of raising twins that are par for the course and pretty similar to our experience in raising our singletons. However, there have been some surprising things about twins, as well.

I have been surprised:

1. By how many diapers we’d go through. It seems that they get used up as fast as we can buy them.
2. That I’d ever be able to tell my identical twin girls apart at a glance
3. That my other kids were able to tell the twin girls apart before I could
4. That sleep deprivation was worse than with a singleton
5. By how many people gawk at our family when we are all out in public
6. That the girls do so many things the same and yet are so different
7. By just how much we’d need that twin double stroller to control the chaos in public
8. By how big and uncomfortable my wife would get during pregnancy
9. By how little time or energy I’ve had to do anything but clean up the house after the kids are all in bed
10. By the mountains of clean laundry that stack up on laundry day
11. By the sheer amount of toys two toddlers can unleash in less than five minutes if given a chance
12. That I haven’t been able to figure out a way to have both twins help me cook in the kitchen (i.e., make cookies) at the same time
13. By how much time it takes to get shoes on, jackets on, diaper bag packed, and everyone loaded into their car seats before we’re ready to go somewhere
14. At the amount of patience having two sick twins at the same time requires
15. By how happy I am to be greeted by two happy faces who run to me for hugs and kisses when I get home from work
16. By how truly satisfying being a parent is

If you’ve already had your twins, what is something that surprised you?

One of the big expenses with raising twins is diapers. From the day they are born until they master potty training and keeping their pants dry overnight, you’ll need to buy diapers.

Twin Diaper Usage

Newborns average about 10 diapers a day per baby. So your newborn twins will need about 10 diapers X 30 days X 2 babies = at least 600 diapers for the first month.

After about a month diaper consumption goes down to about 8 diapers per day. You’ll need 8 diapers X 30 days X 2 babies = at least 480 diapers per month for a few more months.

After three to six months, your babies should fall into a regular pattern with more predictable diaper usage. The blow outs and leaks of the newborn days are gone and you’ll see a pattern emerging. From 3 months to 1 year you should wean down to about 4-6 diapers per day per child.

So based on averages (your twins’ usage will vary) you are looking at using about 2,000 diapers by the time your twins turn 6 months.

After the year mark, diaper use is usually down to about 4 a day: one change when they wake up, one before naps, one before bed, and one for the random poop that happens every day at unpredictable times. So your toddler twins will need 4 diapers X 30 days X 2 toddlers = 240 diapers per month.

This means your twins could use close to 3,000 diapers in the year between ages one and two. (Makes you want to potty train early, doesn’t it?)

Diaper Transition

Once your twins potty train, you’ll be free from the traditional diapers. However, in some cases, you might need Pull-ups for nap times and overnight sleeping until they master the overnight dryness too.

Unfortunately, Pull-ups (and especially the overnight extra absorbent kind) tend to be more expensive than regular diapers. Fortunately, the volume of diapers during this transition period is cut in half.

Diaper Budget

You may want to establish a generous diaper budget for yourself as you stock up on diapers during pregnancy and maintain regular diaper use through the first two years or so.

What should you do with that money after you don’t need diapers?

You’ll see food consumption rise as your twins get older. That increased expense will likely offset any savings you see in no longer buying diapers.

Alternatively, you could start saving the money you did spend on diapers in your twin’s college savings funds. That way when it is time for college, you can remind them that they don’t have enough money because they refused to potty train until they were four.

You’ll be living in a fog for your twin’s first year. This means you won’t remember many of the details and good times of your own volition unless you make the effort to preserve those memories.

Your babies will grow and change more in their first year than at any other time in their lives. You’ll want to remember those milestones for years to come.

How to Remember

So how do you capture these memorable moments?

Take lots of pictures.

Shoot lots of video.

Record moments in a journal.

Share experiences with family and friends.

Sure, you’ve heard those before and yet you haven’t done them. Or you haven’t done enough.

You need a system. A trigger that reminds you to capture the moment.

If you just try and remember to do something, you’ll get busy and forget. You’ll end up procrastinating it until tomorrow.

Set up some mental triggers or reminders that will prompt you to capture the moments with your kids.

For example, put the camera on the counter so that you always see it and remember to take pictures of your twins.

Set aside a day of the week for writing a journal of the week’s highlights. You can do this on paper or via a private family blog.

Leave yourself a note on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror: “did you take a picture of the kids today?”

Enlist the help of others. If you have older children, designate them as the family photographer or historian.

Combined together, your efforts to fight through the fog and capture some great moments of your kids will be successful. The more you try, the more likely you’ll succeed.

In battle, soldiers are often dazed or inhibited by the “fog of war”. This fog comes from smoke, explosions, shell-shock, lack of information, etc.

As a parent of twins, you have your own fog of war. This fog is thickest during your twins’ first year.

What do I mean by foggy?

Remember the last time you drove when there was a heavy fog. It was hard to see far ahead or behind your car. You had to drive slowly and were constantly on guard so you didn’t run into anything.

You’ll be in a similar fog with your new twins for several reasons:

You’ll be suffering from sleep deprivation.

There will be no time to relax.

You’ll constantly be taking care of one baby or the other.

Every day will seem like the last.

You won’t be eating as good as you should since you’re so busy with the babies.

If you have other kids, they will be extra demanding of your attention because you, out of necessity, are giving more to the twins.

If your twins were in the NICU, you’ll have logged countless hours at the hospital.

This foggy haze will cloud your judgment and make days quite challenging.

How to Combat the Fog

You can make the first year easier for you and your family. Just be mindful of your body, situation, and family members:

• Plan ahead – as my mother-in-law always told my wife: “plan for the worst, expect the best, and take what comes”
• Stock the freezer with easy ready-to-heat-up meals – for when you’re hungry but don’t have time to cook (which will happen a lot)
• Stick to a schedule – so both you and your twins have a sense of normalcy
• Sleep when your babies sleep – if you are tired, get some rest and let the “to-do” list wait for later
• Eat healthily – you’ll need the energy to keep up with your twins
• Keep logs of vital tasks (feeding and diapering babies) – this will help supplement your fuzzy memory
• Get out of the house – don’t forget to take your wife with you
• Exercise – take care of your body and it will help you with the demands of the first year
• Get a helper to relieve or assist you – an extra pair of hands will make life a lot easier
• Enjoy the happy moments – yes, there will be funny, memorable, and happy moments during the first year. Enjoy them!

The Fog Clears

Don’t worry, it won’t be foggy forever. Just like the sun burns away the morning fog, so shall time and constantly growing twins clear the fog for you.

Keep your chin up and hang in there!

If you decide to formula-feed your baby twins instead of breastfeeding, the costs can add up quickly.

Formula is not cheap and you’ll need to try different brands and “flavors” to see what works best with your babies.

The good news is that you don’t have to buy every ounce of formula your babies drink. Here are some free and discounted resources:

Hospital

The hospital where your twins are born has an almost infinite supply of formula. They even had the premixed, liquid versions which are super easy: just pop on a nipple and feed the baby.

Before you leave the hospital ask for extra samples and stock up. If you’ve been nice to your nurses during your stay, they will most likely help you out here. It doesn’t hurt that you’ve got twins and they will feel sympathetic to your situation.

Pediatrician

You’ll be visiting the pediatrician frequently in the first few weeks and months after your twins’ birth.

Ask your pediatrician for samples every time you visit.

Ask your pediatrician for a form to fill out and mail in to the formula company where they will send you a free case of formula. This is one of the perks of having twins. The formula companies want to send you samples because once you’re hooked, they know you’ll be buying double the formula.

Manufacturer

Most formula manufacturers have programs where you can sign up for coupons. Take advantage of this. Sure, they will market to you but it is worth the cost savings.

You’ll also see discounted formula at wholesale clubs like Costco (a twin dad’s best friend) where the manufacturers offer larger sizes at cheaper prices than other grocery or retail stores.

Friends

Odds are you’ve got friends who have babies. These could be coworkers, neighbors, or friends from church. Ask all of your friends who have babies and nurse exclusively if you can have their free samples. Remember they get all the same sample opportunities you got (at the hospital and pediatrican) but since they are breastfeeding, they don’t need them.

Get Used to the Expense

While the options above will help you save money on formula, you’ll still need to buy some and spend money. Don’t get your hopes up that once your babies are past the formula phase that you’ll all of a sudden have extra money left over.

You’ll need that money to put into your grocery budget to help feed your growing little ones!

When you find out you are having twins, you will think that everything you own is too small to handle your suddenly bigger family.

You may be right.

Your first thought may be that you need a bigger house. In fact, you may not need a bigger house with twins.

Your next thought will be about your car. How are you going to transport your new twins and your current family around town?

Do you need to buy a new car?

Here is the simple formula:

Current Number of Kids + Twins + Parents + Future Kid Plans = How many seats you need in your car

If the number of seats you need in your car is greater than what you currently have in your vehicle, it is time to start shopping.

Before we had any kids, I swore that we’d never own a minivan. I told myself and wife that we’d just get a big SUV to haul around the expanding family.

That plan worked until we had two kids. At that point we knew we wanted room to grow and so bought a minivan. Don’t feel bad if you have to take back a similar “no minivan” promise. They aren’t so bad after all.

So when we found out we were having twins, we already had room in our van and didn’t need to buy a new car. However, the girls’ arrival immediately maxed out our seating space.

Remember the formula above. If twins are your first kids and you have a back seat in your car, you may be fine waiting to buy a bigger vehicle.

If, on the other hand, you already have a child and just a little Honda Civic, it is probably time to upgrade.

Keep in mind that car seats are often bigger than a normal person is wide. So just because you have three seat belts in the backseat doesn’t mean you can fit three car seats back there. Take your car seats to the car dealership when you test drive to make sure they will fit.

Good luck!

When your babies are newborns and very young, you can have the twins sleep in the same crib.

As they grow, they will each need their own crib but you can still have them in the same room.

However, as they head toward their one year mark, you’ll notice that nap times are getting more difficult. Your twins may not fall asleep like they used to.

Now they babble and squawk at each other and neither seems to fall asleep quickly or at all.

To help solve this problem, we turned to The Sleep Lady, who suggested we start separating the girls for nap time.

Since we opted not to buy a bigger house when we found out we were having twins, we didn’t have a spare bedroom to put a sleeping girl in. So one girl stayed in her crib and the other went into a pack-and-play in our master bedroom.

This separation was great. Both girls started falling asleep quicker and took better naps. When one girl woke up, the other could continue sleeping uninterrupted if needed.

At bed time, the girls still both went down in their cribs in the same room. They would talk and chirp for awhile but we didn’t see the same problems that we did with nap time. After all, it’s easier to fall asleep when it’s dark and there aren’t as many fun things to do just outside their door like during the day when the sun is out and their brothers are running around.

So if you’re having trouble with your toddler twins sleeping during naps, try separating them. You may then have a return to a quiet house where you can get all those “to-do” items done. Or just take a nap, too.

According to the Mayo Clinic:

In any given day, the average newborn cries for two to three hours.

When you first get your twins home, it will seem like they are crying all the time.

Why?

Because they are.

When one is quiet, the other may very well be crying. So your perception is that the crying never stops.

You may be tempted to rush to soothe your babies. Take a moment and wait.

If you try to immediately soothe your twins every time they cry, you will wear yourself out and go crazy. It is natural for babies to cry. Don’t expect complete silence in your house with twins.

Initially when your babies cry, you should assess why they are crying.

Over time you will learn to recognize the different types of cries. Babies have their “I’m hungry” cry. Then there is the “I’m sleepy” or “I’m poopy” cry. Or even the “My arm is stuck in the crib slats” cry.

Listen to the cry, see why your baby is crying, then start to recognize the pattern.

You’ll soon find yourself jumping out of your chair and running to the “My arm is stuck” cry versus waiting a few seconds to see if the “I’m tired” cry stops since she is already in bed.

Is your baby crying? Relax. Take a breath and then take action.

Newsflash: Your house will be a mess with twins.

I remember when our house was always orderly and I could walk freely through the house without stepping on a hard plastic toy. Those days were before twins.

Before twins, your home may be a house of order and zen-like peace. As a dad of twins, now is the time to lower your expectations.

When your twins arrive, you will not be able to physically handle everything you once did. Some things will have to be let go or left undone.

A clean and orderly house can be let go.

You’ll quickly realized that it is unrealistic to try to keep the house totally clean, especially during the day when the kids are awake.

My wife and I will spend the hour after the kids go to bed (which is at 7:00) doing tag-team cleaning every night. We start in the kitchen and clean up after dinner and then work through the toy room and family room, picking up the random items the kids failed to put away. Then we go on to our evening routine.

We don’t necessarily love that we have to spend an hour every evening cleaning up, but we do appreciate the lower stress levels a clean kitchen gives to start a day.

We’d also rather spend time during the day playing and reading with the kids than cleaning. Granted, as the kids are getting older, we are involving them in more cleaning and chores. However, with newborn twins, you’ll just have a mess.

Get used to the mess. Embrace it. Ignore it. Clear a pathway through it for those late night walks you’ll take to care for a baby.

After a while, you’ll be able to adjust to the new reality. Some time after that your twins will be old enough to not only make a mess but clean it up too. Just lower your expectations between now and then and you’ll be fine.

You’ll probably hear incredulous comments from non-twin parents like, “How do you do it?”

Well, as with anything in life, I find a way. That way contains the secret to doing anything with twins.

The secret?

One at a time.

Need to change a poopy diaper on both twins? Change one at a time.

Are both babies crying and you’re home alone? Soothe one at a time.

Spoon feeding both twins dinner? Take turns: one at a time.

Very rarely will you need to do whatever you are doing simultaneously with both twins. One exception would be if your house is on fire. Grab both twins and get out.

Need to load the twins into the car? One at a time.

Need to teach them how to walk? Walking one at a time will make your life a lot easier.

Time to potty train? One at a time.

Remember, twins may come two at a time but that doesn’t mean they need to do everything at the same time.

Just think, they weren’t even born at the same time. How did they arrive? One at a time.