There have been some aspects of raising twins that are par for the course and pretty similar to our experience in raising our singletons. However, there have been some surprising things about twins, as well.

I have been surprised:

1. By how many diapers we’d go through. It seems that they get used up as fast as we can buy them.
2. That I’d ever be able to tell my identical twin girls apart at a glance
3. That my other kids were able to tell the twin girls apart before I could
4. That sleep deprivation was worse than with a singleton
5. By how many people gawk at our family when we are all out in public
6. That the girls do so many things the same and yet are so different
7. By just how much we’d need that twin double stroller to control the chaos in public
8. By how big and uncomfortable my wife would get during pregnancy
9. By how little time or energy I’ve had to do anything but clean up the house after the kids are all in bed
10. By the mountains of clean laundry that stack up on laundry day
11. By the sheer amount of toys two toddlers can unleash in less than five minutes if given a chance
12. That I haven’t been able to figure out a way to have both twins help me cook in the kitchen (i.e., make cookies) at the same time
13. By how much time it takes to get shoes on, jackets on, diaper bag packed, and everyone loaded into their car seats before we’re ready to go somewhere
14. At the amount of patience having two sick twins at the same time requires
15. By how happy I am to be greeted by two happy faces who run to me for hugs and kisses when I get home from work
16. By how truly satisfying being a parent is

If you’ve already had your twins, what is something that surprised you?

One of the big expenses with raising twins is diapers. From the day they are born until they master potty training and keeping their pants dry overnight, you’ll need to buy diapers.

Twin Diaper Usage

Newborns average about 10 diapers a day per baby. So your newborn twins will need about 10 diapers X 30 days X 2 babies = at least 600 diapers for the first month.

After about a month diaper consumption goes down to about 8 diapers per day. You’ll need 8 diapers X 30 days X 2 babies = at least 480 diapers per month for a few more months.

After three to six months, your babies should fall into a regular pattern with more predictable diaper usage. The blow outs and leaks of the newborn days are gone and you’ll see a pattern emerging. From 3 months to 1 year you should wean down to about 4-6 diapers per day per child.

So based on averages (your twins’ usage will vary) you are looking at using about 2,000 diapers by the time your twins turn 6 months.

After the year mark, diaper use is usually down to about 4 a day: one change when they wake up, one before naps, one before bed, and one for the random poop that happens every day at unpredictable times. So your toddler twins will need 4 diapers X 30 days X 2 toddlers = 240 diapers per month.

This means your twins could use close to 3,000 diapers in the year between ages one and two. (Makes you want to potty train early, doesn’t it?)

Diaper Transition

Once your twins potty train, you’ll be free from the traditional diapers. However, in some cases, you might need Pull-ups for nap times and overnight sleeping until they master the overnight dryness too.

Unfortunately, Pull-ups (and especially the overnight extra absorbent kind) tend to be more expensive than regular diapers. Fortunately, the volume of diapers during this transition period is cut in half.

Diaper Budget

You may want to establish a generous diaper budget for yourself as you stock up on diapers during pregnancy and maintain regular diaper use through the first two years or so.

What should you do with that money after you don’t need diapers?

You’ll see food consumption rise as your twins get older. That increased expense will likely offset any savings you see in no longer buying diapers.

Alternatively, you could start saving the money you did spend on diapers in your twin’s college savings funds. That way when it is time for college, you can remind them that they don’t have enough money because they refused to potty train until they were four.

You know that you’ll need a lot of stuff to be ready for twins.

Once your twins arrive, the last thing that you’ll want to do — or have time to do — is go to the store.

The solution?

Stock up on everything.

“Everything” consists of two categories: stuff your twins will use daily and things that the rest of the family will consume.

Things for the Twins

Stockpiling a little bit here and there will be less of a shock for your budget later.

In addition to all the reusable baby gear that you’ll need (strollers, clothing, cribs, etc.), you’ll need to stock supplies that your babies will use (and use up) on a daily basis:

• diapers of all sizes
• baby wipes
• burp cloths
• baby formula
• bottles and nipples
• Desitin or another zinc oxide diaper rash cream
• baby body wash/shampoo

Things for the Household

When you think about the household items you use everyday, you’ll get an idea of the little things that you need to have stocked up for when the twins come:

• toilet paper
• paper towels
• soap
• dish washing detergent
• shampoo
• deodorant
• toothpaste
• laundry detergent
• dryer sheets

These are things you don’t want to worry about for a least a month after the twins arrive.

Stock your freezer. Remember, you can tell your friends you want a freezer meal shower.

If you have a stockpile of supplies by the time you hit the third trimester with your twins, you can relax a little as you enjoy the calm before the storm.

What other essential items would you add to the list to stockpile in your home?

If you decide to formula-feed your baby twins instead of breastfeeding, the costs can add up quickly.

Formula is not cheap and you’ll need to try different brands and “flavors” to see what works best with your babies.

The good news is that you don’t have to buy every ounce of formula your babies drink. Here are some free and discounted resources:

Hospital

The hospital where your twins are born has an almost infinite supply of formula. They even had the premixed, liquid versions which are super easy: just pop on a nipple and feed the baby.

Before you leave the hospital ask for extra samples and stock up. If you’ve been nice to your nurses during your stay, they will most likely help you out here. It doesn’t hurt that you’ve got twins and they will feel sympathetic to your situation.

Pediatrician

You’ll be visiting the pediatrician frequently in the first few weeks and months after your twins’ birth.

Ask your pediatrician for samples every time you visit.

Ask your pediatrician for a form to fill out and mail in to the formula company where they will send you a free case of formula. This is one of the perks of having twins. The formula companies want to send you samples because once you’re hooked, they know you’ll be buying double the formula.

Manufacturer

Most formula manufacturers have programs where you can sign up for coupons. Take advantage of this. Sure, they will market to you but it is worth the cost savings.

You’ll also see discounted formula at wholesale clubs like Costco (a twin dad’s best friend) where the manufacturers offer larger sizes at cheaper prices than other grocery or retail stores.

Friends

Odds are you’ve got friends who have babies. These could be coworkers, neighbors, or friends from church. Ask all of your friends who have babies and nurse exclusively if you can have their free samples. Remember they get all the same sample opportunities you got (at the hospital and pediatrican) but since they are breastfeeding, they don’t need them.

Get Used to the Expense

While the options above will help you save money on formula, you’ll still need to buy some and spend money. Don’t get your hopes up that once your babies are past the formula phase that you’ll all of a sudden have extra money left over.

You’ll need that money to put into your grocery budget to help feed your growing little ones!

As my wife outlined in the previous post about what your wife may feel before and during a C-section with twins, the story continues now with what happens right after your twins are born.

My wife continues in her own words (with my “Dad’s View” comments thrown in)…

Sewing Mommy Back Up

At this point with both boy #2 and the twin girls, I encouraged Joe to go with the babies. He really didn’t need to be around for me to get stitched up, and by going with the babies, he could keep taking pictures and video that I could look at later instead of both of us missing those first minutes.

Back in the OR, it took another 10-15 minutes for them to stitch me up. (It’s a lot of lying there just looking at the ceiling while you process a lot of emotion! But hang in there. You’ll see your babies again soon!) With the girls’ delivery, I asked the doctor ahead of time if they would show me the placenta before they threw it away. That was cool for me. The placenta was a lot bigger than I imagined and it was cool to see those two little umbilical cords coming out of it.

Dad’s View – Since I went out of the operating room with our girls I missed all of this. The next time I saw my wife she was wheeled into recovery and covered in a mountain of blankets.

Right After C-Section

After getting stitched up, I was wheeled to recovery for observation for about an hour. Then it was back to my room and I was able to get acquainted with my babies. After probably another hour, the feeling started coming back to my legs and I could wiggle my toes again. I had an IV and a catheter for the first 24 hours post-surgery.

Moving Around

The best advice I received was from my nurse with C-section #2. She told me my recovery would be quickest if I started moving around as soon as I could. I vaguely remembered being encouraged to move with my first surgery, and I didn’t. I just laid in bed unless I had to go to the bathroom. As a result, it took me nearly a month before I could walk like a normal person again without being all hunched over. So I took the advice with #2 and even though I was hooked up to the IV and cath, I would try to stand up with help every hour or two and take a few steps around my bed. As soon as the cath was out, I would walk around the room (with assistance for the first day) and to the bathroom and by day two or three, I was moving like a pro. So seriously, if you go the C-section route, move as much and as often as you can. I also did with the girls and had a great recovery with them.

Dad’s View: – Since surgery patients are at a high risk of falling, I made sure to be near so I could help my wife move around or go to the bathroom. This also helped her get in and out of bed more easily than if she had been alone.

Drug Side Effects

Some of the side effects of the drugs that go along with the spinal (that I experienced, anyway) are shaking, nausea, and itching. Once the delivery was over, they were able to give me something to help stop the shaking and the nausea. But I had insane itching for 24-48 hours after delivery that you just have to wait out until the meds are out of your system.

With the shaking, it was more like extreme shivering. Granted, the OR is C-O-L-D, so I wasn’t sure how much of the shaking was due to that, or if I was more nervous than I realized and the shaking was due to nerves. But when it still hadn’t stopped after delivery, I asked about it and they were able to give me something that stopped it pretty quickly.

Dad’s View – It was disturbing to see my wife shaking violently right after a major surgery. Fortunately, the medical staff got that under control quickly. The initial recovery room is where I really got to see my girls and study them for the first time (the operating room was so rushed) and help them meet their mom.

Recovery

Other than having to hold a pillow on my stomach to brace it if I needed to cough, sneeze, or laugh for the first few days, it was not a bad recovery considering a C-section is a major surgery.

Pain Management

Try to stay ahead of your pain, as that will aid in your recovery. If you start to hurt, you’ve waited too long to ask for meds. And it may seem unlikely, but by the time your prescription for Percocet has been used up, you will be able to manage your pain with ibuprofen. I know it’s hard to compare to other women, but I think that even with a C-section, I have had an easier recovery than some friends who tore during a vaginal delivery and had to do the stitches, too.

Dad’s View – When my wife stayed ahead of the pain by taking the pain pills slightly ahead of schedule, everything went pretty smoothly. One of our first nights in the hospital post twin C-section, our nurse was giving my wife a lower than expected dosage because we apparently didn’t ask for more. My wife was in quite a bit of pain and very miserable. So don’t be afraid to ask! If your wife can’t, you do it! I kept a log of when she needed to take her medicine and that helped keep us on track even when we were sleep deprived.

Incision

You will be bandaged from hip to hip and when they take the bandage off, it will look like you were cut from hip to hip, too. But you really weren’t. Imagine blowing up a balloon and drawing a smiley face on it. When you deflate it, the smile gets a lot smaller. Same principle with your belly. By the time your body bounces back from the pregnancy, you will have about a 4″ long scar right along your lower abdomen.

Bottom Line

I made it to 36 weeks and 3 days with our twin girls. We felt very lucky and very blessed that our girls were healthy and didn’t run into any problems. But there are lots of twin parents out there who have the NICU as some part of their hospital experience. Your twin delivery may very well be different from ours.

So bottom line here? Make sure you move around (sitting, standing, walking) as soon as you can after surgery and after that, as much as you can. And ask your doctor for clarification on the details if you really feel like you need to know play-by-play what is going to happen, since it may not happen for you exactly like it did for me.

My wife has ended up having a C-section with all three of our deliveries (four kids). Twins are more likely than not to come via C-section so it is in your best interest to be ready.

As a dad, you will experience a C-section from the outside. Nevertheless, you need to be there to support, encourage, and help. I asked my wife to share her side of the story so that you, as a dad, can know what to expect and what your wife will be going through before, during, and after a C-section.

I’ve put “dad’s view” comments mixed in with my wife’s story to also give you some perspective of what I saw and experienced as the dad of twins delivered via C-section.

In my wife’s own words…

C-Section Preparations

If you are brave enough to venture down the “What if” of the C-section path, a good place to start is to ask your doctor about the specifics of what to expect, since procedures undoubtedly vary from hospital to hospital and even doctor to doctor within the same hospital. Some of what I experienced may hold true across the board; some may not. I share my experience to help you get a sense of what to expect.

After filling out a lot of paperwork and signing an awful lot of papers, Joe and I walked down to the Operating Room (OR). I kissed Joe and followed the nurse into the room, leaving him in the hall to wait. My nurse helped me up onto the operating table so I was sitting on it.

The anesthesiologist numbed the skin on my back prior to administering a spinal block, so it just felt like a little pinch. I didn’t feel the needle going in. The spinal takes effect immediately. I had time to swing my legs up onto the operating table before they started to go numb, and within minutes I was numb from my toes to my ribs. My body felt heavy and warm and it was kind of funny to try to move and not have anything happen. I could feel some pressure, like when you take your hand and press it on your arm, when the nurses were disinfecting my stomach to prep for surgery.

Dad’s View – I missed all of this. I was outside the operating room, dressed up in a “bunny suit” (covering my clothes and hair) waiting for the nurse to come get me and let me in. Time passed very slowly and about the time I started to think they forgot me, the nurse came out and ushered me into the operating room.

Twin Delivery

What Mom Sees

When they were actually ready to get going, they let Joe come into the OR. They put a curtain up at my chest so I couldn’t see anything that was going on. It was wide enough and high enough that Joe could just see over it standing. After our first C-section, I realized I hated not being able to see anything, so at the 2nd and 3rd ones, I made sure to request that they lower the curtain when the baby/babies were coming out. This enabled me to see the baby as they lifted him/her from my belly but I couldn’t see my belly.

Dad’s View – By the time I was ushered into the room, the medical staff was already busy at work cutting open my wife. Our doctor actually wanted me to sit down (and thus not see anything) until closer to the actual delivery. I spent this time talking to my wife in a surreal setting where everything was covered up except her head. Her arms were stretched out to the sides and the anesthesiologist was sitting/standing with us. The whole time, I hoped the doctor would let me stand up in time to see the delivery.

Capture the Moment

I also made sure Joe was manning the camera (video and stills). He was able to video the three births of our kids and I actually love watching that footage. It’s not gross–very cool, actually. I thought that I would be cut open from hip to hip and they would just lift the babies out, but the incision is only big enough for the baby’s head to pass through. I remember being amazed at how much of a “mini birth canal” experience it still was.

Dad’s View – Watching the doctor pull our babies out of my wife was amazing. I was surprised how much the doctor had to pull, push, yank, and twist to get one of our daughters out.

What Mom Feels

You really won’t feel any of it. You may feel some pressure and you may sense your body being rocked back and forth as they ease the babies out, but other than that, nothing. Since you won’t feel anything, you may want to ask your doctor or your husband to narrate the events for you so you know where you are in the process and what is going on. Otherwise, you just get to lay there, wait, and wonder, and the whole experience will be over before you know it.

Dad’s View – As I stood up next to my wife and peered over the curtain, I narrated what was happening to my wife while balancing the camera and trying to remember to take pictures and video. I’m not sure how much I actually said to my wife but I did get the video!

Baby’s First Moments

After the babies were out (two minutes apart), they took them over to the warmer to wipe them down and do their APGAR test. Once they got them bundled up, they brought them over for me to see. I could touch them with one hand and kiss their little cheeks when the nurses held them close to my face. Unfortunately, at this point, you’re not really in a position where you can hold your babies. Then it was off to the nursery for them.

Dad’s View – I was mentally torn between watching my first-born daughter get cleaned up and then rushing back to the operating table to see my other daughter be born. I also wanted to tell my wife how our first girl was doing. My head was swirling but I somehow managed to see the first, tell my wife, and not miss the second’s birth.

Read part 2 where we share what happens right after the C-section.

According to the Mayo Clinic:

In any given day, the average newborn cries for two to three hours.

When you first get your twins home, it will seem like they are crying all the time.

Why?

Because they are.

When one is quiet, the other may very well be crying. So your perception is that the crying never stops.

You may be tempted to rush to soothe your babies. Take a moment and wait.

If you try to immediately soothe your twins every time they cry, you will wear yourself out and go crazy. It is natural for babies to cry. Don’t expect complete silence in your house with twins.

Initially when your babies cry, you should assess why they are crying.

Over time you will learn to recognize the different types of cries. Babies have their “I’m hungry” cry. Then there is the “I’m sleepy” or “I’m poopy” cry. Or even the “My arm is stuck in the crib slats” cry.

Listen to the cry, see why your baby is crying, then start to recognize the pattern.

You’ll soon find yourself jumping out of your chair and running to the “My arm is stuck” cry versus waiting a few seconds to see if the “I’m tired” cry stops since she is already in bed.

Is your baby crying? Relax. Take a breath and then take action.

Newsflash: Your house will be a mess with twins.

I remember when our house was always orderly and I could walk freely through the house without stepping on a hard plastic toy. Those days were before twins.

Before twins, your home may be a house of order and zen-like peace. As a dad of twins, now is the time to lower your expectations.

When your twins arrive, you will not be able to physically handle everything you once did. Some things will have to be let go or left undone.

A clean and orderly house can be let go.

You’ll quickly realized that it is unrealistic to try to keep the house totally clean, especially during the day when the kids are awake.

My wife and I will spend the hour after the kids go to bed (which is at 7:00) doing tag-team cleaning every night. We start in the kitchen and clean up after dinner and then work through the toy room and family room, picking up the random items the kids failed to put away. Then we go on to our evening routine.

We don’t necessarily love that we have to spend an hour every evening cleaning up, but we do appreciate the lower stress levels a clean kitchen gives to start a day.

We’d also rather spend time during the day playing and reading with the kids than cleaning. Granted, as the kids are getting older, we are involving them in more cleaning and chores. However, with newborn twins, you’ll just have a mess.

Get used to the mess. Embrace it. Ignore it. Clear a pathway through it for those late night walks you’ll take to care for a baby.

After a while, you’ll be able to adjust to the new reality. Some time after that your twins will be old enough to not only make a mess but clean it up too. Just lower your expectations between now and then and you’ll be fine.

Most baby showers produce cute clothes and maybe some diapers. And if you’re lucky, you’ll have a few people actually shop off your registry. While all of these things are necessary, let’s face it, they don’t directly help you, the twin dad.

Think about your circles of friends. You may get offers for baby showers from coworkers, church, friends, or from your neighbors.

If you have more than one kind soul offer to give you a baby shower, ask that one of them be a Frozen Meal Shower. It may sound a little odd, but it’s very worth it.

Guests can either buy something in the frozen food section of the grocery store and gift it to you, or they can make something homemade and bring it to you to freeze for later.

If adequate storage space in your freezer is a concern, it’s worth addressing in one way or another. Do you have funds and space to buy an extra freezer? If not, do you have a friend or two nearby that could store some freezer meals for you?

This was the biggest lifesaver for us when our twins arrived. It was one of the primary reasons we made it through the first three to four months postpartum. (Not that we had that many meals stored, but every meal lasted our little family 2-3 days!)

The Frozen Meal Shower is a twin dad’s best friend. During the end of twin pregnancy, your wife may very well be on bed rest. A freezer meal is something that even you, dad, can cook.

And once the twins arrive, both you and your wife will be so tired and exhausted you won’t be able to think straight. You need to make sure you are eating well. Skip all the food preparations and throw the frozen meal in the oven or microwave. Problem solved.

You won’t eat well when twins arrive unless you are ready. Stock the freezer now!

You’ll probably hear incredulous comments from non-twin parents like, “How do you do it?”

Well, as with anything in life, I find a way. That way contains the secret to doing anything with twins.

The secret?

One at a time.

Need to change a poopy diaper on both twins? Change one at a time.

Are both babies crying and you’re home alone? Soothe one at a time.

Spoon feeding both twins dinner? Take turns: one at a time.

Very rarely will you need to do whatever you are doing simultaneously with both twins. One exception would be if your house is on fire. Grab both twins and get out.

Need to load the twins into the car? One at a time.

Need to teach them how to walk? Walking one at a time will make your life a lot easier.

Time to potty train? One at a time.

Remember, twins may come two at a time but that doesn’t mean they need to do everything at the same time.

Just think, they weren’t even born at the same time. How did they arrive? One at a time.