As a parent of twins, you’ll likely want to purchase twin related products like books, clothes, gifts, etc. for both your twins and yourself.

Here’s a list of several online stores that offer products specifically for twins and parents of twins:

• Just Multiples
• Double Blessings
• Double Up Books
• Trends In Twos
• Twinz Gear
• Just 4 Twins

Do you have a favorite site you’d like to see added to this list? Please let me know.

So you’re expecting twins and they will be your first children. Congratulations!

Naturally, you’re a little nervous about the whole thing. It is natural to be nervous or a little scared about having twins.

You’ll have two big challenges: the learning curve of being a father and the learning curve of having twins.

The good news is that in your eyes, it is just one big learning curve!

Here’s what you can do to overcome your nerves and stress related to being a first time father of twins.

Learn

You need to learn the basics of caring for a baby. This includes holding, swaddling, diaper changing, dressing, feeding, burping, etc.

Before our first child was born, we took a basic baby care class at the local hospital. You can inquire for a similar class in your area. An infant child care class will arm you with the knowledge you need to handle the basic logistics of keeping your babies alive and well.

Practice

If you don’t practice what you learn, you won’t really learn and master those skills. Borrow a friend’s or relative’s baby and practice what you learned in your class.

During your twin pregnancy, volunteer to babysit a friend’s baby. It will give you some real-world practice before your twins arrive.

Discuss Responsibilities

Discuss with your spouse the child care responsibilities that will need to be handled when the twins arrive. Set clear expectations with each other of who will be doing what and when.

Clearly communicate with each other so there are fewer surprises when the time comes for action.

Things to discuss include: Who will change diapers? How will you feed the twins? Who wakes up during the night to feed and change the babies?

Adapt

Every twin pregnancy is different. Every set of newborn twins is different. Don’t get so caught up in a plan that you can’t change when change is required.

Be flexible and willing to adapt to the situation as required. Be willing to shoulder more responsibility if needed. Be prepared to work and support your wife. She may be recovering from a c-section or postpartum depression. Your job is to keep your twins (and wife) alive and well.

By the time your twins arrive, the nervousness of being a first time father will fade. You’ll be so busy and engaged with the present situation that you won’t have time to think about the hypothetical situations you worried about before.

Picture by Ankur P

There are many creative ways to announce a twin pregnancy. Since most of your friends and family won’t be expecting the surprise news that you are having twins, you can have some fun when you announce you’re expecting twins.

While you’ll find many creative ways to announce a pregnancy by searching online, most are relevant to singleton babies.

Let me share with you how we announced our twins to our family and hopefully that will help get your creative juices flowing.

We bought two little identical picture frames that hold wallet size photos.

For each picture frame, we printed off a picture of baby feet.

In the first frame, we put the words: “Save this space for me” over the picture.

In the second frame, we had the words: “And me too”.

We wrapped both frames up together as a gift and gave them to the grandparents. Since we found out we were having twins on Christmas Eve, a gift wasn’t an unusual thing to receive. However, if you want to announce your twins some other time, the gift idea will still work. Everyone loves to get a present!

When the grandparents unwrapped the gift, the first impression was always “oh, what beautiful picture frames!”

Then they read the words and realized we were announcing our pregnancy. They asked “are you pregnant?” Their happy response was brief as they tried to mentally process why they were holding two picture frames.

After a brief pause as they figured out the second picture frame, their faces turned to expressions of shock. “You’re having twins?!”

It was a fun process to watch as the grandparents slowly uncovered the announcement of our twin pregnancy.

Remember, when you announce your twin pregnancy that people will be completely shocked. Enjoy the moment and plan your creative way to announce the pregnancy so you can have great memories of the announcement.

If you’ve already announced your twin pregnancy, what creative ways did you use? How was the announcement received?

Picture by surlygirl

The odds of your wife going on bed rest during the twin pregnancy are much higher than with a singleton birth. Start thinking now how you can help your wife cope with and survive a twin pregnancy on bed rest.

My wife wasn’t on full bed rest with our twins but the doctor wanted her to rest several hours a day. We had to adjust our schedule and routines to accommodate this requirement and to keep both her and our babies healthy.

Even if you don’t have to do bed rest with this twin pregnancy, the preparations and help you’ll give your wife will be greatly appreciated. I recommend you prepare for bed rest and if it doesn’t come, you’ll still be able to ease the burdens of a twin pregnancy.

While on bed rest during the twin pregnancy, your wife will need both emotional and physical support. Ideally, you’ll be giving her that support. If you are not able to help as much as is required (perhaps due to work commitment or related travel), you’ll need to get helpers to come into your home and assist your wife.

Emotional Support

Empathy – Your wife will be going through something that you’ll never experience. Nevertheless, you need to listen to her and share her feelings so you can better support her during this challenging time.

Words – Yes, Dad, you’ll need to verbalize your thoughts and feelings in support of your wife. Talk with her and encourage her during the bed rest.

Comfort Items – Your wife will want some things (food, entertainment, etc.) that will help her feel better emotionally. Identify and deliver those comfort items your wife likes.

Manifest in Actions – All the words in the world won’t mean a thing if you don’t take action and show your wife you mean what you say. Take action and actually serve your wife in her moments of need.

Physical Support

Priorities – Remember that your wife’s health and the health of your unborn twins are your number one priority. Look at the bed rest situation through that perspective and opportunities to help your wife will become obvious.

Remove Burdens – When your wife is on bed rest with the twins, you must remove as many of her burdens as possible. Consider shouldering her responsibilites with everything she does around the house. You can cook. You can clean. You can take care of the older kids. Look around the house. Is there something that needs to be done? Do it.

Comfort – I hurt just watching my wife during the later stages of the twin pregnancy. It didn’t seem physically possible for her to be carrying two babies and still be able to function. Your wife will be extremely uncomfortable. Do everything you can to make her comfortable. Let her rest. Bring her what she needs. Massage her swollen feet.

Bed Rest Means No Rest For You

Bed rest is for the mother, not the father. You’ll need to step it up and work even harder during the bed rest to help your wife cope with the challenges and make it to a successful twin birth.

What else do you think you can do during bed rest to make things easier for Mom?

Picture by Kim Hays

One of the first things I thought when we found out we were having twins was: “how am I going to pay for all of this?”

If you haven’t already, you will experience this same concern.

I wish I could tell you the exact amount you’ll spend on your twins. Unfortunately, every twin pregnancy, birth, and household is different. To help you plan without knowing your circumstances, this list will focus on areas where you’ll need to pay.

If you live in the United States, or other countries where you must pay your own medical expenses, the first several categories will apply:

Prenatal Care

A twin pregnancy will result in more trips to the doctor. You’ll have significantly more visits to the obstetrician. Perhaps you’ll be visiting a specialist in multiple birth pregnancies. You’ll get extra ultrasounds as the pregnancy progresses.

All of these doctor visits add up financially. Depending on how your health insurance is structured, you’ll likely have out of pocket expenses all along the way.

Delivery Costs

Baby deliveries aren’t cheap. When you combine two births at once, things get even more expensive. Add in twin delivery via c-section, which is more frequent with twin births, and the costs really start to climb. Expect at least $10,000 in delivery costs for a vaginal birth. Over $30,000 for a c-section.

Infant Care

The aforementioned prices are a minimum. Complications and baby care right after delivery will multiply your medical expenses. If your babies spend any amount of time in the NICU, expect heavy expenses. A family friend’s twins spent nearly two months in the NICU. Expenses from their stay topped half a million dollars.

Durable Goods

Larger one-time expenses for twins include those items that will help your twins for several months.

Budget for cribs, strollers, booster seats, bottles, breast pumps, swings, a rocking chair, nursery room furniture, etc.

Ongoing Expenses

Twins go through diapers at a rapid pace. Plan for diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, baby shampoo/soap, clothing, laundry detergent, etc. Anything that is used every day will be used up more quickly.

Feeding

If you will be feeding your twins formula, try and get some free or discounted formula. Everything associated with feeding also needs to be purchased (bottles, cleaners, storage bags if you’ll be freezing/refrigerating milk, etc.).

Older Twin Expenses

As your twins get older, their expenses mature and start to mimic those of a singleton child, just multiplied by two.

In the long term, think about paying your twins allowance, saving for college, and paying for future weddings.

During the early months of twins, these future events and expenses aren’t a concern. You are too occupied with day-to-day survival.

Twins Aren’t Cheap … But They Are Worth It

If you summed up all the expenses you’ll have with your twins, it might be depressing. Just remember, we don’t have kids because they are cheap.

Having twins is an amazing experience and one that will bless your life for years to come. Plan and budget the best you can and then hold on for a wild adventure!

Picture by GoonSquadSarah

I received a great question from an expectant twin parent: “What do you really need to know about the twin pregnancy (does it pay to read all the books that talk about risks, scary births, nicu, etc)?”

Twin pregnancies have their risks and unique experiences which singleton births don’t have.

Do you need to read every book about all the risks involved? No.

If you read about all the possible negative aspects of the twin pregnancy, things will seem rather depressing.

Look at your learning as a “just in time learning.” If the doctor tells you about a condition or concern, then go learn about it and dig into the details.

Hope for the best. But when complications arise, get informed and move forward.

For Dads, I recommend Armin Brott’s Expectant Father book which details the pregnancy very well. It isn’t specifically about twins, but does cover a lot of the medical aspects as well as preparations for having a baby.

My book, The Dad’s Guide to Twins is focused on the logistics of taking care of yourself, your family, and life during the twin pregnancy and how to prepare for the twins’ arrival.

Some highly recommended books for expectant twin moms are Ready or Not Here We Come! and When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads.

Don’t feel like you have to read every book, cover to cover. Try visiting the library or bookstore and just skimming the chapters that you feel are relevant to you at this stage of the twin pregnancy.

In addition to books, try searching or posting on a forum like BabyCenter’s Community or Multiples and More. Sometimes the best answers come from other parents that have been in your exact same shoes.

If you have other children in your family when your twins are born, you have the extra challenge of preparing them for the new additions.

I’ve talked before about how to prepare your older children for twins. One key component of that is setting expectations of what life will be like with twins.

Words and discussions can only go so far in these preparations.

I was excited to get copies of some children’s books specifically written to help siblings prepare for twins.

The publisher of I’m Having Twins and My Twins are Coming Home sent me a copy of each of these books to review.

They are written from the perspective of the older sibling. In fact, these books are written by Paris Morris, who was the older sibling when her twin siblings arrived.

Although our twins are already a part of our family, I read these books with our kids and they liked them, the twins and their brothers alike. The approval meter merited many repeat readings.

Each book walks through what the older sibling is seeing, feeling, and thinking and how the twins fit in with her life.

I’m Having Twins explores a 3-year old girl’s adjustment to the reality that twins will be joining her family. View the twin pregnancy through her eyes and see how she comes to terms with the twins’ pending arrival.

My Twins are Coming Home focuses on Paris’ experience once her twin sisters were born: seeing them in the NICU, waiting for them to come home, dealing with their arrival, etc.

These books are short and fully illustrated and will fit nicely with your other children’s books. Check them out on amazon.com (see I’m Having Twins and My Twins are Coming Home) and use the “look inside” feature to see if you feel the illustrations and wording are a good match for your kids.

These two books are part of a series so if you like them, there are other books chronicling other milestones in a child’s journey with new twins in the family.

Preparing older children for your twins is vital to a smooth transition to an instantly bigger family. Try one of these books by Paris Morris and your kids will have a better picture of what to expect.

Every twin pregnancy has its own unique challenges and yours is no different.

As I thought about the birth of our twins and the twin births of a few friends, I found more differences than similarities. This pattern likely indicates that your twins’ birth will be different than everyone else’s, too.

Of the five different twin pregnancies I reviewed, each ended distinctly:

• Near full term pregnancy with both twins delivered vaginally. The babies went home when mom did.
• Delivery at 33 weeks with an emergency c-section. The premature babies landed in the NICU for about a month.
• One ended at 36 weeks with a scheduled c-section. The twins went home with mom and dad.
• Boys delivered at 38 weeks via emergency c-section. One ended up in the NICU for a week while one went home with Mom and Dad.
• Twins were delivered by emergency c-section at 32 weeks. The boys spent about six weeks in NICUs in two separate hospitals. One twin underwent abdominal surgery.

The moral of the story is that you should be ready for whatever comes.

Even though you are planning on a natural birth, prepare for a twin c-section.

Even though you are expecting healthy, self-sufficient babies, be ready for twins in the NICU.

The key to surviving any twin pregnancy and delivery is to be flexible. Your babies will arrive on their timeline and that may not meet your expectations.

If your twins have already arrived, how were they born? Early? Any NICU time? As planned or with some surprises?

I’m often asked what advice I’d give parents expecting twins.

My answer is always this: get helpers.

We got this advice while we were pregnant with our twin girls. It was the best advice we got.

After the birth of our girls, we were so overwhelmed with the logistics of nighttime feedings and sleep deprivation that we truly needed an extra pair of hands.

You’ll use helpers to do everything you do:

• feed the twins
• change diapers
• soothe babies
• do the dishes
• play with your other kids
• clean the bathroom
• go grocery shopping
• make dinner
• and more…

You’ll notice that in the early days of twins, they don’t need much. They just need food, a change of diapers/clothes, and sleep. The problem is that they need those things all the time.

Your constant care for your newborn twins will wear you out and preclude you from doing other tasks around the house.

This is where helpers are so great. Anything you are doing, they can substitute for you and relieve your burden.

Sign up helpers early and often during the pregnancy so that when your twins arrive, your helpers will be ready to jump in and assist.

Ideally, you’d have a family member or friend stay with you in your home to help with the twins. This will allow you to take turns waking up with the babies at night and allow you more sleep.

You know your situation and resources best. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and be as creative as you can in utilizing it.

An interesting question that I frequently see online is “How do I know if I’m pregnant with twins?”

I find this an intriguing question because my wife and I never asked it. The possibility of twins was not even on our radar so we never even thought to ask the question.

Heartbeat Monitors

On early visits to the obstetrician’s office, you may get to listen for the heartbeat with a heartbeat monitor. To the untrained ear, you may hear two heartbeats and think you’ve got twins when in reality you are hearing both the mother’s and baby’s heartbeats.

In the hands of a skilled medical worker, the heartbeat monitor can pick up twin heartbeats or at least possibly indicate such. In these cases, you’ll most surely be sent for an ultrasound to confirm this suspicion.

Ultrasound

The sure-fire way to tell if you are pregnant with twins is to get an ultrasound. An experienced technician will be able to point out the two little heart beats on an ultrasound even early in the first trimester. Eventually, you’ll get a good sense for if your babies are identical or fraternal twins.

As the pregnancy progresses, you’ll be able to see the two little babies start to take shape and grow. Due to a higher risk of complications during a twin pregnancy, you will likely get more ultrasounds than the typical singleton pregnancy. Savor those extra visits with your unborn children as you’ll get extra glimpses into their development and maybe even their personalities.

Delivery

Back in the old days before modern medical technology, people were surprised by twins all the time on delivery day. While it is possible to have twins today and not know until delivery, it is highly unlikely. If you are regularly visiting the doctor for prenatal care, twins should be discovered at some point during the pregnancy.